New Books

 
black background book cover with "Ask Buck" and hilarious reviews.
 
 
 

Unasked Questions

Over the years Buck has guided notables and too many less notables, preferring flight attendants from foreign carriers, into the big northern fields and streams and questions about what, where, how, and why were plentiful. Most of the questions had to do with what to bring, how many private bathrooms at the lodge, and does Dorothy, his hunting pig, bite. Quite often, questions roamed wide, lifestyle questions, what the master sportsman thought about other stuff while sitting around a campfire after a hard day stacking wild animal protein. Once guests returned home, however, unasked questions fester as there are few sources in a popped culture with the straight skinny. Who could you ask how to live happily in a world veering off course? Well, ideally, you’d ask Buck…but he doesn’t accept collect calls and isn’t on social media.

Good News

A non-profit literary foundation has gathered many of the more common questions to Buck in an exclusive collection of solid answers. Many curating challenges, especially questions scribbled on cocktail napkins, motel stationery, company memo pads, panties, sizes 4-6, washed and now thumbtacked to the ceiling of the lodge saloon. Some correspondence required editing, of course, but readers of the new collection will again profit from the wisdom of someone who has been there, wherever there is, and back.


Click below to be notified when it’s published.

 

 

Sample Correspondence

  • Dear Buck,

    Q: I have first position in an upcoming divorce and choice of custody between my German Shorthair retriever or the teenage twins. Recommendation?

    – Mike “Swamp Rat” McGoon, Central Flyway, Waiting for the Northern Birds

    A: Take what kennels.

  • Dear Buck,

    Q: I stopped being cold in the duck blind wearing my wife’s pantyhose under my waders. Don’t laugh, it works. My only concern is when I wear them, my thoughts turn to dancing with my hunting partner. Is this wrong?

    – Milton A. Mallard, Big Shot, Wings over Alabama

    A: Depends on who leads.

  • Mr. Buck,

    We do not make a fancy bra in 38 DD Long. Your woman may want to try a medical supply company. Ace bandages come in several colors.

    – Victoria, Secrets Sousa, Mall of America, God-Forsaken Minneapolis

    Buck: It’s a wrap!

  • Dear Mr. “Buck” Buck,

    We wish to translate one of your early books into English. It would be prominently displayed in our American Hall of Literacy Shame.

    – B. “Betty” Boop, Library of Congress

    Buck: It would be an honor.

  • Dear Buck,

    Q: I’m planning to take my wife to the Antiques Roadshow. How much do you think I can get for the old bat?

    – Harvey Wallbanger, RR#1, Hardscrabble, VT

    A: Depends on the condition she is in.

  • Dear Buck,

    When I go, I want to be buried in my new coffin blind. It’s very comfortable.

    – Walter “Wally” Widgeon, At the crack of dawn, In some open field, God-forsaken South Dakota.

    Buck: Your wife has a similar wish for you. Her timing may differ from yours.

  • Monsieur Buck,

    Chanel #5 smells like #2. Eau de Phew! What does your lady wear to bed?

    – Dee Dee Dior, Paris.

    A: 5 drops of Hoppes #5 and nothing else.

  • Buck,

    Q: I made the mistake telling my new husband that his duck hunting dog could sleep with us. I don’t mind him fussing with my privates, but I’ll be damned his Chesapeake retriever gets a visitor pass to the Magic Kingdom.

    Liz Feltwell, One Mallard Lane, Central Flyway, Nebraska

    A: No ruff stuff!

  • Dear Buck,

    Q: I want to spend a couple weeks observing you in your habitat to finish my study of lower primates. What works best for you?

    – Jane Goodall, Director, Chimps R Us

    A: Always ready to monkey around!

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